Once again, it's little old me here... The one you all fear for immorally disgraceful acts of a stupendous degree caused by nothing other than being intoxicated by alcoholic substances to a near suicidal existance... Did that make sense to you? Me either...
So, it's that time again where I tell you the Dos and Don'ts of Forge Hub while trying to sound cool and totally in with the 1337 speak crowd, T4K3 M3 2 UR 133D3R2! Basically, we've had a few rule changes within the site and it'd be nice if you all took your time to Read Them! It may look like Shock Theta is indeed doing some work, but matter of factly, he's still chillaxin' as always and leaving the work to those whiney moderators: Black Theorem and Reflex lon.
Anyway, while we're still on the topic of rules (blag blag blaggggg), the Moderators and Guardians are trying to clean up the Forgeums a little bit more by forcing me at gun point to present this message:
Originally posted by Some Staff Guy
When any member fails to post correctly in any of the Reach Map Databases or Halo 3 Map Databases, instead of writing out a Samaritans paragraph, please only report the post for a Guardian or Moderator to action. This prevents the need for any additional infractions for repetitive posting and/or bumping of inactive threads.
Thank you.
Now I know my ABC's...
If you've managed to pass pre-school English Literature and define a pencil as a tool of writing and drawing instead of unlodging that sticky bogey from your left nostril, you may be in with a chance of becoming the next best scribe in the Review Hub.
The Review Hub aim to please... and by please I mean reduce map authors to tears and point out every little flaw within your map so you become so insecure you might just jump off that cliff next time without a Jetpack. Regardless of their mean words, they're pretty nice guys who invest a lot of their personal time in to keeping one of Forge Hub's best services running. If you don't aim to join their ranks, at least give them some work to do... Lazy guys are just clogging up the Hub Pub! I... errr.. mean...
...hmm. You can sign up to the Review Hub: here. Alternatively, you can always provide them an extra map so the Janitor can finally smooth out the sofa in the Hub Pub and get rid of those Bum-dents. You can post your map for review here.
Chapter 1: Outbreak : 4.1/10 - Plasma Blades
Portal Raceway : 4.7 - PacMonster1
Hornet's Nest : 4.8/10 - Organite & cluckinho10
Maze V1 : 4.0 - Oli The G
Elliptical : 6.1/10 - Tedium
Chrono Boost!
For those of you who don't know... I'm not actually referencing StarCraft II. Although that is an awesome game, I am actually giving a little shout out to ChronoTempest who recently secured the last spot in the Tester's Guild Leader Ranks. He's going to be keeping the quality of feedback high throughout the Guild Submissions. So, if you have any questions about the Guild and how to keep your feedback at a high standard, drop him a message.
If I've completely derailed your train of understanding and I am further confusing you, please raise your hand so I can identify who to help.......... No one? Excellent. I'm taking this as an opportune moment to not answer questions as you either didn't raise your hand as requested, because you thought "I'm not raising my hand to a computer screen, he can't see me!", or you actually raised your hand to a computer screen and I can't see that. Idiots. Therefore, I win. Move along...
...and stop! The Tester's Guild are here to break your unreleased map down and discover what the problems could potentially be. If you're lacking in the friends department or simply have too little time to participate in your own testing sessions, drop your map into the Tester's Guild here. Just make sure you follow the rules before posting!
Also, if you find you're in excess of both friends and time, why not join the Tester's Guild. You may even surprise your inner self and enjoy helping someone for a change... after all, it beats stealing sweets from unborn babies.
huh...what?
You may or may not have heard about this little get together of Halo Community sites but fear not, I am here to inform you... Scratch that, I'm here to redirect you. If you fancy participating in one of the biggest events of the year involving most of Halo Community sites, why not either submit yourself as a host or just turn up as a gamer. The event will last throughout the weekend of August 5th til August 7th. Obviously, you don't have to host for the full weekend but chipping in the odd few hours would be appreciated. You can thank XForgery's Null Parameter for bringing this event to Forge Hub.
To participate as a host for the HCCM, simply message both What's a Scope? and Null Parameter with your Party Details.
You can view more specific details about the event and how the proceeds go to the charity Child's Play in the Halo Community Charity Marathon thread provided by our lovely Loyal member: xSharpshooter94.
[HOST'S PARTY NAME]
Host's Gamertag: [HOST'S GAMERTAG]
Start Time: [0:00pm EST]
End Time: [0:00pm EST]
Rules: [PARTY RULES]
Schedule:
[PARTY SCHEDULE]
What you need to do to survive:
Host four consecutive TGIFs (that's back to back for a grand total of four TGIFs spanning eight weeks)
Continue a party spans a minimum of two hours
Submit a recap of their TGIF which consists of:
A two paragraph write up
A minimum of two pictures from their TGIF
At least three download links of the maps they've played
Halo Community Charity Marathon - Promo‏ - YouTube
video by CommunityGamer.com
Headphones have big strong magnets now?
http://www.astrogaming.com/I actually found out earlier this week that you can physically move another Apple iPhode earpiece with the other because magnets are awesome. I was thinking of some awesome sauce troll science for you, but trolling is sucessful on the front page, so I'd rather fail...
Anyway, on the subject of audio equipment. Astro Gaming are the proud sponsors of the Official Forge Hub 2v2 Throwdown Competition. They're willing to give out two pairs of their infamous pro-circuit gaming headsets. You should take a moment to dribble over your less expensive keyboard at the sight of their Vestibule Orgasmotron systems! (a.k.a Astro A40 Audio Systems).
The 2v2 Throwdown competition sign ups already started and they should have ended last week. Due to a lack of participance, we'll have the sign ups open until the end of July 31st, which is today! If you haven't already signed up DO IT NAO!.
In order to fill the spare slots, any members who haven't yet managed to find a partner and are currently waiting in the Free Agent Recruitment thread, don't fear... You won't be automatically removed from the competition; Instead, you'll be automatically assigned another member from the thread based on Timezone so your connection doesn't present too much of an issue for other players in the game and vice versa. However, we can't guarantee there'll be an even number of players per timezone so grab yourself a partner and sign up fast. Just remember to edit your post once you've signed up so we don't end up matching you with someone else!
As you should have noticed by now, the first Throwdown map feature has been revealed and this will be the first round map for the tournament. Get it downloaded and get practicing. If you happened to miss it, you can catch Premise again with the link I just gave you...
If the Astros don't tickle your fancy (because you're locked in an asylum and for some reason allow you to play video games with violence and guns) we do have a variety of other prizes for you guys too. If you happen to place Second and Third respectively, you still get to secure yourself some goodies that are yet to be announced.
If you have any further questions regarding the Tournament, check out the Throwdown Customer Services forum for more information.
Social Spidermanz
We're attaching ourselves to the interwebz in the form of Social Networking. We're currently spreading our
If you've got Facebook or Twitter, get connected and follow and/or like us on the following links:
Forgebook!
Team Twitter!
By Following us or Liking us you get the action at Forge Hub as it unfolds, so if you have the Facebook app, you can get the latest Site Update or Feature information straight to your Smart Phone!
FLLR!
Going up in the world...
Unfortunately, there were no promotions over the last two week period. However, we did miss off our very own slice of broccollipie. OM NOM NOM NOM.
Sadly though, as we're about 4 weeks or so late with this promotion update (as always), you might find this message to be a little... mouldy.
Off-world
We've been informed by other Community sites that certain members of our forums are repeatedly spamming and trolling their forums. Not only is this unacceptable, but this gives Forge Hub a bad appearance. Please treat all other community forums as you would treat ours, and in that, treat them all with respect.
We do communicate with other site's staff members; be warned!
QOTSU
After a much more productive 5 minutes of reading QOTSU answers and some serious LOLs later, I have to quote the following two victors who jumped on the opportunity of Alcohol Poisoning and the occasional use of Rosie Jones (♥).
Capturing it would be the easy part. It is passed out every night because it is so pissed. I'd load it into a van (possibly bump it's head on a couple objects in the process) and drive it off to a warehouse.
It would wake up in an empty room strapped to a chair. Completely nude. It will notice that a lot of hair has been implanted into it's skin, it has gotten extremely short, has giant feet, and has an odd longing to call for a man named 'Sam'. It's hand would be wired to it's unmentionables. It would notice that there is sand paper embedded into it's hand gripped around it's unmentionables. After the initially odd bondage it would look forward through a glass wall. On the other side of this wall sits Rosie Jones. She is dressed in a fat man suit.
Realizing this is the end, it would take it's last chance to be with Rosie. and die.
/Grotesquedeathinoddsexualway
Of course I'd replace the booze with non-alcoholic versions, then wait for you to think you're drunk and "pass out". I'd book a flight to America, drop you off and wait for the foreign atmosphere to leave you breathless, gasping for air until you curl up against the nearest dumpster and fall limp. With the last of your living moments, you write your only regret on the nearest paper. It read, "XVI" ಠ_ಠ
These two were still making me laugh whilst reaching the point where the discussion turned to Elder Scrolls references. Oh god, we're nerds aren't we?
Anyway, this weeks QOTSU is a lot loss threatening and a little more confusing:
If you died tomorrow and God allowed you to be reincarnated as a fruit, which fruit would you pick and why?
In my own answer, I'd love to become a Watermelon for reasons like this. Sadly though, I'd more likely become this unlucky little fella.
So.. Many.. Links and.. Colours.. Must.. quit.. before.. too.. late.....
I think it's entirely possible that I was in a disco when I wrote this article... It flashed from grey to something so often my own head thinks I'm high. If you had the man-power to get through this article without being hypnotised (CAKE) then I salute you!
In other words, I'm done and you guys can get back to practicing for Throwdown!
If you have any thoughts on this article, or the front page in general, that you would like to share with us then we invite you to post your opinions in the Front Page Feedback thread.