Oh me, oh my, it's that time of year again. When I get free reign to educate inform you barbarians community members on the various goings about on Forge Hub. Apparently I'm not allowed to link to Calvin and Hobbes and "need to focus on actual news this time." Bah. "Look at the other site updates." Humbug.
I'll show them. Let's go on a rhetorical logical journey so that I don't need to do any actual work. Let us discount the very notion of this site update, using LOGIC! Of course all of you have read the rules so often you know them by heart so I trust I don't need to LINK you over and over again.
MELTED Crayons...
Promotions. They say you aren't supposed to "advertise" your map in the "shoutbox." Well, that kind of advertisement is map promotion and promotions are what I'm supposed to be writing about here. Well that's just hypocritical, why should I waste my time talking about OTHER people when I can sit here and boast about my own accomplishments?
I was the sole survivor of by birth by Caesarian Section (which already makes me all kingly and stuff), the only casualty being a normal life after being diagnosed with a rare disease by the name of PURE AWESOMENESS.
At the age of 2 I bit my way through an animal carcass called "steak" which unfortunately was not my own kill in the wild.
That would be age 7, when I reacted to the person who infected me with yet another illness; "The Cooties." She was never heard from again.
At age 10 I thought that we were all living in an artificial world (after I first heard about computers). The idea was then adapted into a movie called THE MATRIX...RELOADED, leaving me with millions of dollars. Unfortunately, that was the only part of the philosophical riddle that actually took place in my head.
At 12 I developed the...
EDITED? I WILL NOT IGNORE THESE TRANSGRESSIONS.
Oh ha! The two people that were supposed to be promoted, haven't been. I guess I can mention them as a slight against the system.
The perpetually gray:
TheUnseenForce
Virus (I'm not taking the time to find out what random binary strand he put down)
TediumsBitch [I think? (Totally wanted to change the name right there for accuracy's sake, but I trust you can read between the lines like you so often do with the rules.)]
Nener nener...nener.
The Guild
Great show. It's accessible on the dashboard when you sign in.
::SIGH:: EDIT: Obligatory link to the Testers Guild Forum. Oh I have to do more? That's harrassment, and that's against the rules. You can totally check. RULE 4.3.
I hate this. The Tester's Guild is a place for happiness, hand-holding and map-testing. Where the members will make your map shine by providing rainbow-colored testing summaries after you make them play your map to reveal any imperfections perfections-in-the-making. The members are a delight and the Review Hub is totally not cooler than them at all, there isn't even a pseudo-rivalry going on between them. Nuh uh. Everything is dandy there!
Wannabe Journalists
Isn't it considered double-posting (see Rule #2 if you aren't an expert on the rules, which you guys totally are because you mention that fact all the time) to talk about these guys? They're like the exact same group as the Tester's Guild. Except they think can totally write competently well when it comes to reviewing maps. I have no idea why you'd want to join the lot and analyze maps and state why or why they don't work, thereby gaining experience and critical thinking. But here's the link anyway you masochists. Review Hub Application.
Promethean Review - Stevo
Megalodon Review- Organite
The Carnival Review- Tedium's Bitch
No TGIF
But TGIF is canceled this week due to completely unforseen circumstances. Sorry. However, we reserve the right to actually have TGIF should hosts have time and whatnot. If, however, you want to get parties together on Christmas Eve, make a thread in the Customs Lobby - Forge Hub for funs and stuffz.
Unrelated: Shock re-added the birthday mod to the bottom of the forums. That's all I have to say about that.
Forge Hub's Not Community Featured
They wanted me to go against my values (and Rule #3) and necrobump a locked thread. Sure, "Rule #3 is outdated" and "Abuse of Power automatically means 'Corrupt' in every situation" but I HAVE STANDARDS DAM DANG IT and I will not mention the Forge Hub Favorites nominations that occur every week.
DIAMONDS
Are forever, and are what my hand is full of when you look back up then back at me. But alas the bi-weekly Hidden Gems section is not happening for two reasons.
I'm lazy
You can look through map sections on your own. No really, no need to complain about this, nothing's stopping you. Really, you don't need to complain about this. Really. really.
But if you do need to complain for any reason, go ahead and message former-Guardian CHUCK with the words "/SLAP!" He'll know what it means.
Walking Off Into The Sunset
Looks cool but it always leads you to an ocean. What are you going to do then? Speak to fish? PFFT. Now I'm off to take over the world with my dogs "Thumb" and "Spine." Kudos if you catch the reference. But not really. Oh and all the edits were done by me. Plot twist.
Happy Holidays,
-Sarge