SARGE EDITION
27th September
Time for Some Fun
We're going to be doing things a little differently in the site update this week, as there is quite a bit going on around this lovely site of ours that I'd like to comment on, specifically, Creeping Death's utter betrayal and downfall.
Demotions
As many of you know, I've endured Mr. Death's sly comments for quite some time now, letting him insult and play wordsmith through the past few site updates. Now, my dear readers, it is time for my revenge. This update marks the final time Creeping Death will bear the rank Journalist, for insulting me on a medium I cannot reply is not only cowardice, but a capital offense! So long Creep, sorry you didn't know about the matter until just now.
Hidden Gems
Apparently I'm obligated to put up some maps or something, so these are ones Shock picked out from the community commons or whatever.
Oh, I think its meant to be more upbeat.
These are some AWESOME maps that I "played" for "hours" at Creeping's mother's house. Sure, there wasn't much Halo involved, but the entire experience was fun nonetheless, I'd mention what sucks about it, but that would be literal and once again, entirely unrelated to Halo 3.
Some Map by APremiumMember
Oh, one map...yeah yeah, supposed to be the community at large, blah blah. My update, my criteria.
Idiocy
Time to tell you a story. There once was a member here who thought it wise to be an idiot. Sure, he probably didn't think, know what the word "wise" means, and wasn't even able to be anything other than a being who's skull cavity is filled with nonsensical fecal matter worth only as much as fertilizer can go for on the open market.
Anywho, this member, who, for all intents and purposes, shall be called Jimbob the Fertilizer Man, was of average intelligence. Some of you may be thinking "but, you just said his brain was poopy", exactly, that is exactly my point, good for you.
Jimbob once came to me and asked how to do something or whatever, and I obliged him with the information he sought. Oh dear I nearly said "seeked", I guess writing in Creeping's position is getting to my head.
::breathes::
Okay. So I helped him and sent him on his way, patting him on the proverbial back with my imaginary internet hands (totally as creepy as it sounds). Then he stabbed me in the back. How? He...asked...dumb...questions.
But Sarge, my mommy always said that there was no such thing as a dumb question
Well, I knew your mother well, and I must say, she didn't know as much as she let on, you probably just need to shake off that Oedipus complex and get out more.
Anyways, he went into the customer service section, and started asking questions and making suggestions without thinking. Thus, I had to spend more of my time to deal with it, and I'm admittedly lazy, I love my time, I like to just sit around and ponder the meaninglessness of life with so many idiots walking around. Lemmings. Sheeple. Whatever.
So many threads, so many times I simply wanted to go in, say "You're an idiot, don't ever come here again" (which I did to another user as of late) but I held my tongue and was nice...well...as nice as my mean-o-meter allows.
What I'm saying is, for the love of anything you love in the world, whether that means Halo, because you're an pimply child who shouldn't be allowed to play it according to the government, or your mother, because you're undoubtedly a "momma's boy", THINK before you ask a question. PLEASE.
If your problem/suggestion sounds like it could be solved by common sense, it probably can be, despite you, and this is directed at Creeping, not having any.
Hm, looks like I did something constructive. Time for an interview.
Behind the AWESOMEness
Who are you?
Pfft, please.
What do you do here at ForgeHub?
Generally, I just sit here and look cool, maintain fairness, handle stuff nobody hears or cares about and have fun.
The "have fun bit" care to clarify?
Well, it usually means making fun of anyone at any opportunity.
Isn't that against the rules?
No, flaming is against the rules, I provide a valuable service, entertainment.
But isn't arguing flaming?
Are you trying to argue with me? Isn't that flaming?
Touche.
Indeed.
So, why were you allowed to do this?
Uh, because I'm AWESOME. I do give out AWESOME points, though that's rare.
No really, why?
::glares::
Moving on. You seem to have taken every opportunity to insult Creeping Death, the ex-Journalist, in this ::shivers:: Sarge Update. Why is that?
Creeping Death is the epitome of a joke, why not insult him? If I didn't, that means I would be biased, as I insult everyone else when the opportunity arises, that would be discrimination, and discrimination is WRONG.
Yeah, agreed. This is getting kind of weird, talking to yourself. Though I guess you do this quite a lot anyway.
Hey, Creeping did it first, creepy bastard.
So long, farewell, somethingsomething goodbye!
Well, it seems I've reached the end of my piece, it was fun, and looks like the last time I'll have the chance to do it. Oh well, we'll see.
Hope you enjoyed the break in monotony, I did, though the regular site update returns soon, with Creeping still being a boring journalist, writing it. Apparently he isn't getting demoted. One can wish. Adios all.
-SargeantSarcasm